Two Collapsing, One Shaking

I wrote this article to conclude my performance in 2013. If everything is smooth, I would be too happy to remember writing this article. The existence of this article shows that 2013 is not a satisfactory year. The first half 2013 was a good period of time so no need to emphasize it or I would fall into my daydreaming. The second half was a mess. It looks like a warning from the heaven that my life during the first half period was too fantastic.

Being in a terrible territory, it is hard to be productive. I can’t find anything acceptable in this city and the university. Air pollution, awful traffic, awful food, rude residents, wage payment delayed, to name a few, make me realize why this place sucks from the common viewpoint. I was foolish to be attracted by the competitive wage rate and the unbelievable low teaching load provided by the school.

 

As usual, I use three pillars, i.e. researching, dining and exercising, to evaluate my performance or the level of wholesomeness in my life.

Researching: completed a working paper that I started working on in June. And I completed a part of another working paper, but the paper was actually Jim’s work, not mine. I should have looking for an industrial career in the US like him. Too late to regret. Then, my own paper was rejected by a journal. I didn't expect much to get accepted, however, neither did I expect it was rejected in a short time. This failure is like a slap on my face. It hurts my confidence.

Dining: not much to talk about. Food safety is a forever problem in this country. The choices are very limited if I take food safety into account. There is no word like diversity for food in this super closed inland province.

Exercising: air pollution and the over-crowded public parks make it unpleasant to exercise outdoors. The entrance fee for a luxurious gym is overpriced. One time entrance of a gym with a swimming pool in a hotel costs around $16.5! We all think the gym with pretty waitresses is for upstarts, not poor researchers.

So far, dining and exercising are collapsing, and researching is shaking. My life is in danger. The situation is worse than it was at the end of 2010 when I was depressed for some reasons. At that time, there was only one pillar, researching shaking, and the other two were standing sound. I gave a sentence “be Strong, be Patient” to encourage myself. Be strong was to ask me resisting against sorrow for the lost love; be patient was regarding with the anxiety for making progress in dissertation. By regular exercising and eating delicious food, I kept my brain working and body fit. Soon I returned to the normal route. What a good old day.

I need to think about not only how to survive in this hostile environment, but how to stabilize the three pillars also. Two weeks later I will travel. Hope the cold and fresh air in the north Japan can clear my congested brain.